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"I wonder if I've been changed in the night? Let me think. Was I the same when I got up this morning? I almost think I can remember feeling a little different. But if I'm not the same, the next question is 'Who in the world am I?' Ah, that's the great puzzle!" Alice, Alice in Wonderland
As I read this simple passage over and over again, I can't help but notice its depth and relevance to all of our lives. Figuring out who you are may be a life-long endeavor, but everyone has to start it. If we don't know who we are, then we don't know anything: we don't know what we want, we don't know what we believe, and we certainly don't know what we don't believe.
"You possess only whatever will not be lost in a shipwreck." Imam Abu Hamid al-Ghazali
Reflecting on this quote from imam Ghazali (r), it really brings home for me two concepts. Firstly, that your deeds or actions are what make you who you are, and they are not lost, as Allah (swt) has a clear record of all that is done. Secondly, were you to survive this shipwreck, what would you be left with? Your material earnings will not define who you are and all that will be left is yourself. So who are you, really?
How exactly does a person "find themselves"? I always picture a shot-gun trip to a third-world country, or a routine morning jog along the beach- but who has time for that? I think finding yourself means taking every single aspect of your life, every single interaction, and every single detail, and evaluating yourself in relation to it. Find out what you believe and really believe in it. Find out what you want, and sincerely pursue it. Find out who you are and keep learning to be better by being honest with yourself about your flaws.
I think the best two scenarios that allow us to bring out our raw character are times of hardship and times of comfort. In hardship we find our weaknesses and our vulnerabilities, and in comfort we find our negligence and carelessness. Though hardships humble us through methods that are seemingly unbearable, getting through them provides us opportunities to grow and learn. And what could we be more thankful for? Sometimes it takes being dragged and torn to figure out all the pieces that you are made of.
So why is it so important to figure out who you really are? Because if you don't know who you are, no one else truly does either, and all of a sudden, you're no one.
All men should strive
to learn before they die
what they are running from, and to, and why.
James Thurber
When the going gets tough and I start to think that I should have been built with bigger shoulders to carry the stress, I find an immediate release upon remembering what Allah (swt) says in surat al-bakara, ayah 186: "when My servants ask you concerning Me, I am indeed close (to them): I answer the prayer of every supplicant when he calls on Me" Qur'an 2:186. Soon after, I slip back and succumb to the stress, but reminding myself over and over again that He is there any given time gives me the bits of strength that I need to get by.
Sometimes just knowing that someone is there to bear the load with me is enough, and more often than not, I find no one. After anger and desperation, I finally remember that I'm not the only one that knows my situation. Allah (swt) knows what I'm going through because He is the One that's putting me through it and testing me, and is doing so because He knows that I can take it. Remembering this in itself is empowering and takes about a 100 pounds off of my already small shoulders. I find myself feeling guilty for not remembering that Allah (swt) is always there-- I just need to turn to Him.
So the next time stress meets you, look it in the face and remember that you can take it. It might be hard, but it passes, because "verily, after hardship is ease", and the Promise of Allah (swt) is not broken. Chins up!
Brief History on the Discovery of InsulinI really cannot get over how relatively recent the discovery and manufacturing of insulin took place. January 11, 1922?! And before that, a diagnosis meant that the patient would live for only up to a year. And with that, they would have significant complications to deal with, and often times the patients ending up in a diabetic coma. Many of the patients were children, since type 1 meant no insulin, leaving diet and exercise as not much a help.
Another thing I found interesting was the speed at which the research moved. In only 20 weeks, the scientists moved from injected insulin into a dog to injecting humans with insulin.
On a personal note, it's an amazing thing to read that if I were born less than a hundred years ago, I might have died a year after diagnosis. Learning about the discovery of insulin story really puts appreciation under a bright light for me. Now diabetes can be controlled by taking a few painless injections, and even that has become more and more comfortable in my 8 years since diagnosis. Medical research is moving at lightening speed and with that fast pace, it becomes important to realize that all of it needs to be appreciated on a day to day, injection to injection, pill to pill, operation to operation basis. It is all an infinite blessing.
But then again, to put this in perspective - we don't know how many times a day a healthy person is being protected by Allah (swt) and allowed to live another day.
