I wonder if I've been changed in the night...

"I wonder if I've been changed in the night? Let me think. Was I the same when I got up this morning? I almost think I can remember feeling a little different. But if I'm not the same, the next question is 'Who in the world am I?' Ah, that's the great puzzle!" Alice, Alice in Wonderland

As I read this simple passage over and over again, I can't help but notice its depth and relevance to all of our lives. Figuring out who you are may be a life-long endeavor, but everyone has to start it. If we don't know who we are, then we don't know anything: we don't know what we want, we don't know what we believe, and we certainly don't know what we don't believe.

"You possess only whatever will not be lost in a shipwreck." Imam Abu Hamid al-Ghazali

Reflecting on this quote from imam Ghazali (r), it really brings home for me two concepts. Firstly, that your deeds or actions are what make you who you are, and they are not lost, as Allah (swt) has a clear record of all that is done. Secondly, were you to survive this shipwreck, what would you be left with? Your material earnings will not define who you are and all that will be left is yourself. So who are you, really?

How exactly does a person "find themselves"? I always picture a shot-gun trip to a third-world country, or a routine morning jog along the beach- but who has time for that? I think finding yourself means taking every single aspect of your life, every single interaction, and every single detail, and evaluating yourself in relation to it. Find out what you believe and really believe in it. Find out what you want, and sincerely pursue it. Find out who you are and keep learning to be better by being honest with yourself about your flaws.

I think the best two scenarios that allow us to bring out our raw character are times of hardship and times of comfort. In hardship we find our weaknesses and our vulnerabilities, and in comfort we find our negligence and carelessness. Though hardships humble us through methods that are seemingly unbearable, getting through them provides us opportunities to grow and learn. And what could we be more thankful for? Sometimes it takes being dragged and torn to figure out all the pieces that you are made of.

So why is it so important to figure out who you really are? Because if you don't know who you are, no one else truly does either, and all of a sudden, you're no one.

All men should strive
to learn before they die
what they are running from, and to, and why.
James Thurber